One morning a couple weeks ago, I was sipping my coffee and watching Gwyneth Paltrow on the Today Show talk about her famous conscious uncoupling from ex-husband Chris Martin. She described their commitment to maintaining a cohesive family for the sake of their kids. Fascinating, inspiring, and totally doable. My ex-husband and I did it, too.
She’s remarried now to a new love, and simply glowing – as if she could glow any more than she already did.
I’m remarried, too, but to the same man I divorced.
“Should we stay together for the kids?” is a guilt-loaded question for many couples. My answer is:
I don’t know.
Kids depend on parents providing stability while they grow up. My ex-husband/new husband and I ripped our own guts out. Did we have to choose between our own happiness and our kids’ happiness? So, we vowed to stay friends and stay a family.
Divorce still sucked. We didn’t find our happiness. I dated a man whose very manhood was threatened by my relationship with my ex and his family. Yeah, my foot met his backside pretty quick.
Staying united divorced parents ultimately led to our remarriage. In Gwyneth Paltrow’s case, her kids are secure and she had room to fall in love again.
I know conscious uncoupling can’t work for everyone. I’m really interested in hearing other people’s divorce experiences. Dialogue has value.
That’s what’s best for the kids.